An autumn leaf

[A featured picture on Pixabay. Lovely.]

There, you see? Back again already.

I'm sure you are familiar with reflection exercises like "Imagine you only had a limited time to live." They are very popular in post-modern societies and especially on blogs and in self-help books and videos.

Not that I claim to be very knowledge about self-help genre. I've looked into it and it tends to be the same thing recycled over and over by a few very successful people and hundreds of folks who want to have that same success. Which is why you see the successful and not so successful self-help advisors pop up in places like the Huffington Post.

Well, anyway, there's that one, and the one about what you would do if time, money, and other resources were no object. And I've noticed a couple of things.

One, I don't seem to do well with these little exercises. I just don't know what I would want to do or I can't decide from the options. Anything I pick would just be to complete the exercise, not because it was the thing.

Two, it's very hard to actually imagine yourself to really be in such a life-and-death or inconceivable abundance scenario. Sure, it's possible in a kind of superficial, light and breezy "Oh I'd go to [insert exotic location]" kind of way. But not really.

I mean, would you really see a shift in your priorities? Would it really crystallize what you think and believe? Reveal how you really feel?

So then today, little less than two weeks before my birthday, I go into to get a basic test done as a follow-up to my annual physical. Something was a little off in the physical, so it was just being  a matter of cautious.

That is, until my doctor calls me from her house the same day to tell me I have a serious condition that is one hundred percent fatal if left untreated. Hence I will require major surgery in the near future, which itself is kind of risky.

I ought, therefore, to have some of that clarity coming my way since I am facing an immanent mortal threat. Nothing so far, though. Not about life, spirituality, where I would go or what I would do if it was now or never. Still, maybe it will come to me as events unfold and my situation becomes more real to me.

I'll keep you updated if any insights reveal themselves.

Be well.